Local all-stars of civic virtue share voices on Craigslist
To their credit, many of the scribes in Manhattan’s local Craigslist rants & raves section evince, in their dialogue, a certain breadth of knowledge, depth of emotion, and respect for their peers. It gives us the sense, as we read the raves, that we are strolling across a grassy plain on a summer afternoon. But this knoll is not without its weeds: sociopathic misogyny and racism.
To be fair, this is not new. These things sprout up anywhere, not just Kansas. Furthermore, we are uncertain as to whether these authors are being sincere or just trolling. Pointing them out and excoriating them with a profound ribbing, even invoking such brutal invective as “uncivilized knave” and “native Kansan” would hardly be a worthwhile endeavour. It would, in fact, be an hour badly spent. But hell, you already know where we’re going with this so let’s get down to it.
- Let us begin with RE:Re women in general, especially church girls (MK-JC-FortRiley). It starts with “OK church girls feel down there is it open or closed up like a real virgin, there’s one dumbass church in MK that say you’ll become a virgin again if you pray hard enough and Jesus loves your stuff.” It continues a long, nearly-unbroken descent into the long dark tea-time of the soul.
–As he typed it, his mom brought him a microwaved burrito and a diet Mr. Pibb. “Christ, mother,” he snapped. “How many times have I told you to knock first?” Quietly, she backs out of the room on tiptoe, but not before surreptitiously tucking a 2nd-form grammar primer under his pillow.
- Re. Veterans memorial Mr. Disgusting here (MK-JC-FortRiley): “So many GIs brought their little pocket pussies back with them it pissed off so many white slob bitches around these parts. Yes american men falling in love with those little slant eyed gook cuties.”–Wouldn’t it be a shame if, in the process of getting his motorcar purloined — a 1972 Gran Torino – this gentleman was to gracelessly fall down and cough up blood?
- Hello Pat Anderson (Unmanlthatttan and area): “Thank god for the slopes and dogmeat on a stick.”–How interesting! This gentleperson clearly suffers a delicate, petulant constitution. Unacclimated to the flavours and spices often sampled in exotic cuisines, he or she is confined to Applebees for home-style, rustic provenance.
- Meeting quality women Feces!!!!!!!!! (MK-JC-FrtRil): “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Janice where are you now ? probably married to a preacherman she was double jointed, we could do it in the back seat of a Nissan, humpity humpity sloppity sloppity sloppity all night long”–My face hurts.
slinkers btw
slinkyrie
slinkerdoodle
slinkyboneur
slinkthinker 2.5
robertlowelldunn
